App Store Approval Analogy

Anyone else think the app approval process makes them feel like the app you’ve built is a big fat woman in a silver suit trying to bend over backwards to fit Apple’s idea of what they’ll approve?

On a completely unrelated note - what the hell is going on with all of the dumb game shows popping up? I love watching exaggerated stereotypes running through crazy obstacle courses as much as the next guy but whatever happened to game shows that require intelligence?

Seriously - I’ll stop hating on Apple for a while now…

How Apple Picks Which Apps Make It to the App Store

Apple's App Store Approval Process Diagramed

Saw this on Gizmodo and laughed… then cried… then felt ambivalent. It’s sad, but I think that this is actually part of an internal memo sent out to the guys that do the app approval process…

Also:

No Refunds for Pulled/Rejected Apps?

Screw Apple (Again!)

Ok… so today’s announcements about revamping the iPod line was underwhelming to say the least, but something really struck another nerve with me.

I’ve been patiently awaiting the Nike+ announcement for the iPhone… Several times I’ve considered trading my new iPod Classic for my girlfriends iPod Nano just to use Nike+. I’m the kind of person that finds motivation to work out in graphs and charts of my progress… yea… I’m that kind of nerd…

So - the announcement that the new version of Nike+ only works with the second generation iPod Touch is immensely disappointing. Way to go Apple… make a product that is damn near mutually exclusive to the expensive iPhone that I own have one single feature I care about in an attempt to differentiate the two products enough so that everyone walks around with two nearly identical products… one in each pocket I guess…

I understand the reasoning behind not pushing a fitness app for the non-solid state hard drive based classics. That would be a genius bar nightmare… lots of fat nerds with their sweaty iPods that have been shaken to death from a few rounds around a track… but c’mon Apple… hook us iPhone users up. There is absolutely no reason to keep Nike+ away from us other to try to cash in on us double.

So, instead of the sweetness of being able to go out for a jog and, all out of breath, chime in on a conference call to tell some IT guy he’s an idiot while the latest Jack Johnson song is spinning in the background we’re left with the frustration of having to try to remember which iPhone looking thing to pick up to answer the phone call from work saying we’re late… again… hopefully we get it right this time…

Thanks for keeping us fat, Apple.

Apple is the new Microsoft… in a bad way.

Alright - expounding on my previous post and inspired by a lengthy conversation between Brit and myself; I’m about to open the flood gates of flame ware hell.  I realize this and I really don’t want to go where I’m about to go, but I’ve got to vent.  (I also realize that half of the comments I’ll receive will be from Apple fanboys that will fail to read anything except for the headline of this post.)

Recently Dirk Holtwick recieved notification that his application,Big 5, was rejected by Apples App Store approval process.  His application was built using PhoneGap, a project that allows access to the iPhone SDK through the use of Javascript - exciting because it means that web developers like myself don’t have to learn an obscure language like Objective C to get our ideas onto our iPhones; we can use a language we’re already comfortable with instead of fighting through a bunch of new classes and methods in an unfamiliar IDE, using unfamiliar syntax.

Ultimately Big 5 is an alternative to using safari on an iPhone - the big difference is that it allows a web developer to send alternate content that makes use of iPhone features to their users.  So - say I have a recipe website and I’d like to allow a user to take a photo of a dish they just cooked with their iPhone camera and upload it directly to my site - I could do so using a Big 5 enabled site and all I’d have to do is include a little bit of Javascript on my site.  Very cool.

What Apple is doing on the other hand - not so cool.

No telling how many hours went in to Big 5 development, but all Dirk got in return was the following email:

Dear Developer,

We’ve reviewed your application Big Five.   We have determined that this
application is of limited utility to the broad iPhone and iPod touch
user community, and will not be published to the App Store.

Sincerely,

Nice of them to let him know why his app didn’t make the cut. Several theories abound, but the one that bugs me the most is that the SDK agreement that a developer agrees to when they download the SDK states that an application cannot execute code. The funniest thing about that argument is that the security risks presented in an app like Big 5 are identical to those that are posed any time any user access a website via safari on an iPhone - Big 5 uses the SDK component, Web View, to access a site just like safari.

This seems to be a power play to make sure that safari is the only web browser on an iPhone. I understand the move, but why not allow developers a similar solution using safari - allow users to have javascript hooks into the SDK for alternate content so that we can take advantage of iPhone features. And for God’s sake, please give a developer that spent a lot of time an explanation as to why their app was rejected. At this point, I could spend 100+ hours of my development team’s expensive time kicking out a killer app for a market that Apple doesn’t deem important only to get rejected with the same form email as a guy making a “I am rich” app.

The worst part of this whole situation is something that really infuriates me. As a developer, having downloaded the SDK, I am automatically under a non-disclosure agreement. I can’t talk about any of te projects I’m working on… I can’t post code of solutions to problems… Technically I can’t even write this freaking article bashing Apple for crushing something that could open the door to a lot of cool stuff. There are very few sites with iPhone SDK programming tutorials because of this, and the ones that are out there are in violation of the NDA… and this makes the Objective C (and the iPhone SDK) even less accessible.

Been to Barnes and Nobles recently? Notice that there’s only one book on iPhone development on the shelves and its pre-SDK (using open source tools and jailbreaking)? Look on amazon and see how many books are out there for iPhone development and then realize that none of them can ship until the NDA is lifted…

And why would Apple make it’s SDK developers agree to an NDA that would prevent people from evangelizing its toolset? Because (according to U.S. patent law) by keeping everyone using their SDK under an NDA Apple can own anything developed on their platform - without exception. So… how’s that for spurring innovation?

Now - realize this - I’ve been accused of being an Apple fanboy many times in my life… I’ve owned almost every generation of iPod, I’m on my fifth Apple laptop and I’ve been responsible for evangelizing Apple products in the video world for several years now (A certain professional football team switched to Final Cut Pro from Avid because of my constant bitching). All told, I’ve been responsible for about a quarter of a millions dollars worth of Apple gear being bought in the last 4 years. Take all of that into consideration when I say what I’m about to say:

Only a company that has a zealous following can do what they’ve done in the last few months. MobileMe anyone? Any other company would’ve been burned to the ground. What about blacklisting apps that are useful to a large market without giving justification to the developers? It even pisses me off that they pulled the “I am rich” app - it serves the same purpose as a $300 purse. If someone wants to spend $300 on something that just holds their makeup and wallet, that’s up to them, not Apple.

So - let the onslaught begin, but please - at least act like you’ve read the post.